Meh

I borrowed 100 pepper sachets from the university café
and recreated the Blue Meanie invasion with blue-tak figurines.
I like to listen to music in my left ear and leave the right open.
Stereo is over-rated.

Too many clocks, not enough batteries.
Too much politics, not enough concern.
I’m contactable 24 hours a day.
I choose to disregard your calls.

When I’m home alone I walk around fully clothed.
I dream of owning a 6 lane Scalextric track; utterly meticulous, of course.
My phone battery does not match my lifestyle.
Neither does my attire.

Too many buttons, not enough zips.
Too many laces, not enough Velcro.
Waking up on time is a commodity.
Taxi drivers are not acquainted with my road.

5.1 does not excite me.

What I'm listening to this month.... Old and New

Little Dragon - Little Dragon











Colin Macintyre - Island











Turin Brakes - The Optimist LP

Nick Drake - Bryter Later










The Decemberists - Castaways and Cutouts










Fever Ray - Fever Ray











Iron & Wine - Around the Well










The Postal Service - Give Up

Not much to say and too much to do.

It's been a while since I last wrote in this blog. Part of this is due to my creation of a Birmingham City University blog to detail local events and student information.

Why not check it out...

http://birminghamcityuniversity.blogspot.com/

He's a wonderful talker, who has the art of telling you nothing in a great harangue

In a world full of wasps

I’m a simple worker bee

Not remarkable, nor discernable

From most the staff you see.

A child that longs to scream and shout

And throw his toys out of the pram

Because he has to listen to your tales

As you devise new hopeless plans

Or when I listen to you tell them

How you think it all should work

Even though your executive style

Simply confirms that you’re a jerk

I’d love to strip you of your right of speech

Or leave you in Nepal

I think a dose of realism

Would plainly help us all

You put the dick in contradiction

And you put the spin in spineless

You love garrulous administration

You’re a pig wallowing in waspiness

But instead I sit and wonder

How you have survived thus far

Your attitude is my melanoma

You wish your status matched your car

Driving a Porsche Cayenne twin turbo

bellow at 90 on your iPhone

Call your colleagues by their surname

I trust you’ll likely die alone

But don’t think you cause me lack of sleep

Or undue extra strain

I’d rather worry about higher issues

Like my recently blocked drain

Which is probably due to strands of hair

That collect and clog til blocked.

Maybe you would like it as you’re balding

A gift for you smug, odious cock

You put the dick in contradiction

Whilst you put the spin in spineless

Lecturing me on your power tools

Stop. I wish your voice was cordless

He's a wonderful talker, who has the art of telling you nothing in a great harangue.

- Moliere

Artsfest '09 - Well Done

I’ve just enjoyed a gratifying weekend of sunshine, melody, grub, cider and charming company along with an estimated 270,000 other revellers at Birmingham’s Artfest.

Now; maybe it’s my mind putting a glossy spin on life but as I was sitting on the, inevitably delayed, train to Walsall this morning I couldn’t help recall that the last 3 years have all delivered hot weekends for Artsfest. This weekend had a lot to live up to and it delivered.

Well done Birmingham.

Here are a few of the acts whose names managed to permeate the alcohol induced fog shrouding my brain this weekend;

Flatworld – A bit of Eastern European gypsy Balkan dance to start any day.

Is I Cinema – Some post-rock soundscapes. Best served chilled.

The Father Teds – Irish innit. Trad. Arr. Tunes.

The Acoustic Theatre – Now I think it was these guys that were playing some ace revival ska tunes.

Soweto Kinch – Sax, Drums, Bass and occasional M.C. Hmmm. It works.

Reverend & the Makers – Suprisingly fun (embarrassingly enjoyable)

Athlete – Suprisingly singable (embarrassingly enjoyable…. again)

As Sunday evening began to meander towards something resembling an end I found myself knee deep in discussion with a vast majority of the Rep bar staff. What a wonderful bunch of people they are (and that’s not purely down to the flow of cheap gin that was heading my way). Not one person had a bad thing to say about this year’s Artsfest, in fact, the general consensus was that Birmingham should hold more events like this.

Cultural capital 2012 was it Baron?

Hands-on students create place of relaxation for Birmingham hospital

In 2008, 20 talented, second year Landscape Architecture students embarked on responding to a live design brief for the Birmingham Treatment Centre at City Hospital.

The students were required to use their design skills to re-invent a neglected courtyard into a spiritual, therapeutic space, promoting health and well being for patients and staff.

The collaborative project involving Sandwell and West Birmingham National Health Trust and Jarvis plc, was given to the students because of their exceptional collective skills and depth of experience.

The concept for the garden was designed by student Matt Foster and all aspects of its delivery has been completed solely by the University students.

The proud students downed tools on Friday 4 September and the garden will be officially opened by the Lord Mayor of Birmingham on 30 September.

For more information, please contact: russell.good@bcu.ac.uk

Dear All: For the world to ignore.

Has someone been playing tennis with my head or is it just another morning after.

I’m poor. Sure I believe that you can be rich in life even if you are poor in wealth but, here’s the rub, I’m skint and my life is suffering from this personal recession.

So I’ll moan a bit. I’ll check my online banking at 11am and lay my head on my desk dangerously close to the milk I just spilt whilst attempting to make a delicious cup of coffee. It’s not delicious. Hardly palatable.

The lack of common sense, initiative and basic manners here make me feel like screaming rage or blasting Half Man Half Biscuit at passers by. “Is this your Sanderling?”

Are the lives of the men and their dogs, lying in the centre of five ways, worse than mine?

Now I’m just being dramatic.

It must be National Shite Day.

BIAD showcases exceptional student talent

Masters of Arts (MA) students are gearing up to showcase their final projects to the public during September.

An eclectic mix of work will be on display, from fine art installations, to catwalk collections, representing the wide range of postgraduate courses BIAD has to offer. Open to the general public, as well as those in the creative industries, the events will showcase work across the four different schools between 5-24 September.

Entry to all of the shows is free.

For more information, please see: http://www.bcu.ac.uk/biad

Bored now...

What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you develop an addiction to meths?

Last night I consumed a horrendous amount
Of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge sundae
Whilst I watched the repeat of Shooting Stars
And smeared chocolate all over my duvet

The night before I did partake
in a weighty evening of drink
and now after 21 days in a row
it happens I’m starting to think

That

I’m killing myself with lovely things
I’m putting on weight everyday
I’m killing myself with lovely things
But at least it’s more pleasant this way

This eve to a burlesque night
I received a delightful suggestion
And I think it only polite to arrive
For failure is out of the question

Thus it’s not the pretty ladies
Or their distinct lack of thread
But merely as a warning to others
That it is pertinent I attend

To warn these underlings of the future
If they continue to mimic my life
Of gin, of brandy and simple cider
So, alas, they will hear of my strife

For

I’m killing myself with lovely things
I’m putting on weight everyday
I’m killing myself with lovely things
But at least it’s more pleasant this way

I’m killing myself with lovely things
And no one but I can be blamed
I’m killing myself with lovely things
But at least it’s more surreal this way

So I’ll drink mulled wine
And smoke Gauloise
And continue to shorten my breathes

For what would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you encourage my addiction to meths?

The Petty Life of an Administrator

You don’t know what you’re doing
You don’t know what you’re doing
But this roll it means nothing
This whole profession means nothing

Clicked out of existence
No one would care
Except your biros and stapler
Would be going spare
Even though you wrote your name in tip-ex
I’d scratch it off
And use 2 staplers as make shift crocodile puppets

You don’t know what you’re doing
You don’t know what you’re doing
But this roll means nothing
And I’ve had my fill of facebook

Admin changes the world
From the photocopy assistants
To the PM’s pa

Microsoft office
Changes this world
Call me a taxi. I’m leaving

So you sit at your desk
Eating baguette du monde
With a bow tie you think you look suave
And when you address me
You avert your gawp
I didn’t realise I was the 21st century medusa

Admin changes the world
From the military defence accountant
To the zoo PR exec

Admin changes the world
From the NHS pamphlets
To the database tech

Admin changes the world
But not constructively.

Credit crunch budget
Change this world
Call me a taxi. I’m leaving.

And whilst I'm on the subject...

Fickle, trend following, skinny jeans and vintage jacket wearing arrogant twats who craft their "unique" hair styles for hours each morning before their 10 hour weeks behind the bar at a new electro/indie venue.

Those few who broadcast when it's their day to sign on and how cocaine is better in Manchester and those many who write music on micro Korgs so they can start a myspace page and play new rave house parties.

Fuck off and learn to spell. It's you're not your, i.e. you're a waste of space.
Here's my one-line-synth-heavy-house-beat-driven-nonsense for you entitled simply

Untitled

It’s easy to be pretentious.

Compressors/Limiters – Simplified…. well sort of…

This is my attempt at explaining compressor and limiter technology. I will probably get some bits wrong. Please don’t write in and complain. I’m having a shot at it so just be happy that I’m trying.

Ok

An audio compressor is either a hardware or software device which can automatically reduce the output gain of a signal with respect to its input, by a pre-determined or selectable ratio, once that signal has exceeded a specified threshold value.

Still with me so far?

When using a compressor/limiter device the result is heard as a reduction of dynamic range, allowing the R.M.S. (Root Mean Square) volume being used within a session to be increased without “clipping” or driving over the capacity of the recording (tracking) or playback system.

Got that?

In simple terms a compressor/limiter type device can make audio content sound louder by reducing the difference between the quiet and loud sounds, or dynamic range.

Simples.

Compression is used for a variety of reasons, including noise reduction, emphasis (e.g. to make vocals stand out in a dense mix), ducking, and artistic effects such as “pumping”. These aspects are discussed in more detail below.

It’s probably worth noting that a compressor can be inserted into the signal path at a variety of points, however, it is usually deployed pre-fade and/or on group and mix busses.

Overview of Compressor Technology

Typical compressors work by utilising a variable gain amplifier which is controlled by a signal derived from the amplitude envelope of the signal being processed. Above the threshold level, the control signal acts on the variable gain amplifier to reduce the output gain.

When the compressor is reading signals up to the threshold figure, the variable gain amplifier will operate at unity gain, or a ratio of 1:1 (i.e. for every 1dB increase in input signal amplitude, there will be a 1dB increase in output signal amplitude). Typically the amount of gain reduction, applied above the threshold, will be user selectable and expressed as a ratio. For example, a ratio of 2:1 will produce an output gain of only 0.5 dB for every 1 dB of input gain.

Hang in there.

In some compressor and limiter devices there is a set or fixed threshold with linked input and output gain controls which can be used to push the signal into compression. Most other compressor and limiter devices employ variable threshold and comparator circuitry to achieve the same effect.

Other than the input and output gain controls and the compression ratio there will be several additional parameters. These typically include user variable attack and release times, and sometimes, control for the “knee”. The attack and release times refer to the delay before the gain reduction is applied (attack), and the amount of time the gain reduction remains in operation after the input signal has dropped below the threshold value (release).

Attack and release times can usually be varied from lass than 1ms, to several seconds. The knee parameter determines the rate at which the gain reduction is applied, with a hard knee referring to an almost instant application of the full amount of gain reduction, and a soft knee referring to a more gradual application of gain reduction. Example of both of these types of knee can be seen below in some stolen graphs below.

Many compression/limiting devices have a pre-set knee determined by their design parameters, whilst others enable operator selection of the knee characteristics.

Figure 1. Example: Hard and Soft Knee. (Source: http://www.massenburg.com/cgi-bin/ml/8900ref.html)

Finally, most compression/limiting devices or software includes a gain makeup control to allow adjustment of the compressed output signal to the required level.

Phew, that wasn’t as fun as I’d hoped.

So let’s go again, this time with limiters….

Limiting can be considered as an extreme form of compression, and whilst there is no formal definition, many sound engineers consider compression ratios in excess of 10:1 to be limiting, though ratios can extend up to and including ∞:1 (thanks Kadis, J.).

The main purpose of limiting is to ensure that no programme content exceeds a pre-determined level, and whilst compression is often employed as a sound sculpting tool, limiting is typically (though not exclusively) employed to ensure that the operational parameters of the system (recording/ transmission/ playback) are not exceeded due to high amplitude transients. Thus, it is not unusual to use compression then limiting in series.

So next time you stare at those pretty green and red flickering lights on your Beringher rack you’ll know what’s what.

What?

Lyrics are a poor man’s Tetris

Every so often I try to write
A song that fits together
I concentrate hard on form and rhyme
But always ignore the structure

So then I’m left with a literary muddle
That neither looks or sounds delightful
Perhaps it’s not the text; but the context
That makes a song insightful

With this in mind
I have chosen to design
A verse shaped like a pyramid
Longer and longer shall each line get
Up until I have had my fill of it
Then; they start to contract
Each line plays its part
It seems I’m very
Good at this
And here
We see
Great
Art

Podcasts. How very 2005.

Broadcast your thoughts. Introduction & Part 1

When podcasting first emerged in 2003 it was relatively localised to the technological community, by 2005 it became a wide spread buzzword that seemed to be used everywhere.

There are several driving forces behind the growth of podcasting that still make it worth while considering 6 years on:

The first of these is the exceptional popularity of the iPod. Distribution has grown from over 4 million being sold in the first quarter of 2005 to over 22 million in the first quarter of 2008. Although the term ‘podcast’ is arguably a play on both the ‘iPod’ and ‘broadcast’ it is important to note that it has no direct connection to Apple and therefore it is also necessary to take into account the other portable media players available in order to grasp the huge scale of portable media. From the iPod to the iPhone to the HTC to my new wardrobe, almost everything these days seems ready for RSS feeds.

The second of the driving forces is due to the rapid adoption of broadband Internet subscriptions allowing users to easily access larger sized media. The BBC spotted the link early on in 2005 correlating that “Broadband and portable music player sales have fuelled growth” in the podcast market. Well they really nailed it there.

Third of the driving forces is the increase in numbers of PC owners with the capabilities of creating multimedia content. As podcasting gets more popular the barriers to entry continue to fall with more and more “user friendly” pieces of software available for creating podcasts. Podcasting, therefore, offers the means for anyone who wishes to have their own ‘show’ the opportunity to do so. Tempted yet?

Another key factor to podcasting growth was due, arguably, to the lack in diversity of radio programming and the growing abundance of commercials [insert annoyingly catchy radio ad here]. Many of the early reports on podcasting emphasised the idea of bringing a medium online that gives any member of the public a platform to share thoughts and views. Mr Adam ‘Podcast’ Curry (2004), arguably the original proponent of podcasting, saw this new form of distribution as invaluable in a world where he suggests radio is over commercialised [re-insert annoyingly catchy radio jingle].

This idea of podcasts existing to hear what the masses have to say is furthered by Phil ‘Big Brains’ Leigh (2005) who suggests that podcasting provides a way to avoid the “exclusivity of franchises”. A well turned phrase... if you don’t mind me saying so.

So here’s the rub. Why not get involved? Have you got a computer? Have you got a microphone? Have you got a little drop of enthusiasm or, in my case, far too much time on your hands? Well if so then read on.

Step 1

Knowing Your Demographic

It is important to begin with some old-school planning. A target demographic is dependant on the individual podcast. This initial stage of development will set the content, audience, style and even the structure of your show. So go on, draw a lovely big brain storm/ spider diagram or even a gant chart (I do love a good gant chart).

Pick a subject with longevity and more importantly pick content that interests you. If you’re interested in it then I can guarantee someone else is too. That’s why we love the internet right?! I really feel that my life is lacking a good podcast on Tesco’s selection of world teas…. I mean, how am I meant to choose?

You should have a good understanding of your target audience. For instance, LittleSmasher Podcasting has created a series of shows for Brunel University, which is targeted at “pre-university students with other people in mind like parents, teachers and older students who are already at university”. The guys at LittleSmasher.com are worth having a listen to. They can tailor the style of broadcast to the content superbly… on the other hand why not look at Podcast.net, find the least listened to podcast and give it a shot. Time has gone into it. I will appreciate it.

At this stage it is important to gather whether or not you have a feasible target audience for a podcast, for example a vintage shoe shop could never have a sustainable podcast series (feel free to argue this point) as there’s no dedicated target audience for this whereas your ‘rockin’ band, for instance, have, or at least hopes to have, a wide fan base.

Perhaps with the power of podcasting behind you - your fan base could become international. You could be the next Lily Allen.

At the very least it could be quite fun.

My week in Music.

I've had the delight of my cousin for company this week. I thought I'd show her how much fun Birmingham can be.

Sunday night - Warlocks & Guile @ The Rainbow

Monday night - Kid British @ The Rainbow

Tuesday night - Dear Reader @ The Hare and Hounds

Tonight - Kong @ The Flapper.

I'm shattered and skint.

Ace.

Egg on my face...

Yesterday I thought I saw Nathan.

I thought Nathan saw me.

I thought I'd be funny to gesticulate rudely toward him accompanied by a few (bellowed) kind words of advise;

'Sort your life out mate'

Turns out it wasn't Nathan.

Irony.

Passive or Passé?

I love to overhear enthusiastic conversation. I love it even more so if it’s something I take an interest in (be that an active interest or a more passive one). I find that when I’m utilising my spy-like eavesdropping capabilities I often learn interesting views and opinions.

At a gig in Birmingham I was once given the delightful opportunity to listen to why, exactly, Funktion 1s are the best systems in the world (this was explained to me far too late in the evening by a rather excitable fellow who seemed to be having some issues with standing still). He proceeded to explain that his system ‘gives off a lot of renaissance man’ to which I had no reply. As he explained how certain frequencies vibrate the walls of the warehouse we were stood I couldn’t stop a rather large grin from playing across my face. It’s ok I survived the tale. Never mock a man, his vocabulary or his system.

Viva la Resonance!

It’s important to realise that PA system owners are a special breed (especially when they talk like proud parents of their system ‘child’). Often I have found myself sat in the middle of an (unnecessarily) complex discussion about the pros and cons of Funktion 1 vs Mackie….

I’m not qualified to answer, or even give my opinion on such things, but I have lifted enough systems to have an opinion on the broader Active vs Passive system mass debate.

There’s less bits to an active system but the bits that there are tend to be heavier.

They are quicker to set up and seem to deliver a better size to gain ratio.

Simple

So why do I own a passive system?

Money.

Isn’t it always the way.

If you are in a small to medium sized venue, maybe around 500 capacity or less, you’re fine with passive speakers. You don't get a lot of headroom, but, you also don't need that much with a small amount in your venue.For anything larger then that, you going to need an active crossover network and therefore you’re going to need to go and visit that nice chap at the bank who, in the nicest possible way, explains that you’re not eligible for that additional overdraft facility.So why is the choice size dependant?

Headroom. By limiting the amount of frequencies and maximizing the power going to each driver, you can increase the headroom by a large amount.With an active, you need an amp channel for each of the drivers in your box. In addition, you also need an active crossover as well. Plus all of the cables going down to each of the amps.

This adds to the weight…. But…

When the active approach is taken, the most critical 'match' in the entire path of the audio system (the amplifier/crossover/loudspeaker chain) can be approached as a whole, far more efficiently, each component working in its most optimal scenario, yielding potentially superior results to a more "conventional" passive approach.

It’s matched, there’s no need to tweak or fiddle, you can just turn up and play.

I like it.

Colin Miller has gone into much more depth than I could so to learn more please visit http://www.hometheaterhifi.com/volume_9_4/feature-article-active-speakers-12-2002.html

Glastonbury 2009: The Magical Dance of the Sprinter

Ahh. Is there anything more satisfying than driving onto a festival site on a glorious British summer morning? Surely that feeling, coupled with the foresight of 7 days of frivolities ahead, would plant a grin on the faces of even the most melancholie folk. Yes! I have been fortunate enough to attend Glastonbury music festival many times before however this year was to be very different.

This was my first year working at a stage in Shangri-La.

I wondered how it would compare to volunteer work or going as a punter?

In any line of work at a festival I imagine that there is a feeling of unity that bonds us all together and leaves you with a real feeling of belonging. I felt this as soon as we arrived and throughout the week. This bond seemed heightened by the knowledge that inevitably something is going to go wrong but everyone has each others back (and failing that everyone has gaffer and cable ties).

After navigating our way through to our big top it was time to start dragging flight cases, monitors, back line, racks, let alone the powered system down to the stage whilst moaning, unnecessarily, about the lighting crew. The jokes begin and we are all in good form because, well, we’re at Glastonbury and it doesn’t get much better than this.

Then it rains.

Suddenly the magical dance of the sprinter seems less hilarious and the mad rush to wedge chipboard under the tyres of every sinking van leaves you feeling damp and muddy. Why on earth did I leave my wellies at the back of the trailer?

It’s a times like this that we all turn to our vices to keep going. My vice is tea (one sugar) and that’s all it took for us to get the system up and running and ready for the following days checks. That’s it, we’re all set, time for the whisky (oh yeah, my other vice).

The work was hard but great fun. We had a lot of band switch overs. We lost a good few xlr cables. We had the usual little issues from instrument failures to rather inebriated artists. The nights were spent working, the days were a mix of sleep and seeing other stages. Sun followed rain, vodka followed whisky. Alex and I slept in the back of his darling van (Dwain). We made new friends and hung out with old ones. Bands were on from Thursday til Sunday (from 10pm til 6am). We worked hard (Alex worked harder). We played hard. We ate like kings and danced like queens. We saw some truly amazing sights through Shangri-La, Arcadia, Trash City. We met some legends, some stars and some interesting (hmmm) folk. I dreamt of becoming a gypsy and running off with a band (check out Blackberry Wood). All in all ee remembered just how amazing Glastonbury is.

Then we lost power.

It was raining. The lighting boys (grrr) had left a socket open to the elements. We had put the DJ decks on the lighting circuit. Frantic panic as Alex took control and blasted reggae from his iPod at a packed tent. Situation remedied. We routed the decks into a different line and, reluctantly, swapped the reggae back for rock’n’roll.

Then we partied.

By Tuesday it was home time. It was hard to believe we’d been there for over a week. Working with the Rocket Lounge crew was truly one of the best times of my life. Bring on Notting Hill Carnival.

You guys rock.

Cheers; Alex, Dave, Gaz, Leo, Rache, Anton, Jason, Phil, the Steward boyz, the Irish lass that kept feeding me, Gypsy Lady, Fraser, Tom, Ann, Dizzy, Hayley…. everyone. x

It's the final countdown... da da daaaa da

Hey Hey!

Here we are! Slow again on the update front but with good reason. We have been living it up in the van chasing the sun north up through the Coramandel and Northland. We've hit some beautiful beaches and reserves, met lots of lovely folk, developed a slight (British) tan and being eaten alive (again) by our natural predators (those sandy buggers...)

For those following our trail:

We've run from Rotorua to Opotiki, from Port Ohope to Whakatane, Mount Manganui to the Coramandel, Cathedral Cove to Whitianga and finally up to the idylic Port Jackson where we stopped for a few nights avec some new found hitch-hiker buddies and enjoyed open fires and big waves (plus Kay got bit' by a crab).

Bongo went slightly nuts for a minute and so we took him to a nice man with a box of cable ties and the determination to fix anything and everything with them (yeah! Cable ties and Gaffer eh boys). Kay carved up some bones in Whitianga and then we whizzed round the coast to Northland picking up a couple of snorkle sets and some mini bodyboards as the waves were looking tidy.

Matapouri Bay, Matia Bay, Shipwreck Cove, Piha Beach, Fletchers Bay, Bay of Islands
- please go to these lovely spots and enjoy the coast as words just can't do them justice.
Also check out the 'night walk' past the Kauri coast in Trousen Kauri Park... it's a cool little stroll that you take at night with red cellophane over your torch to give an eerie effect... we spotted tons of glow-worms and heard tons of birds but we didn't go on a tour so we can't tell you what birds they were..... fun though!

After that little slice of nature another little slice moved into our van with us. A lovely little field mouse... Kay fed him some crisps and Ashley tried to catch him.... No luck there.

Now for the big news:

The mouse and the van have now been handed over to their new owner, Cody. Bongo will soon be off again to the South Island and we are left to spend the last of our travels back on foot.

We hope you are all well!

Loads of love,

Kay 'n' Ash

xxx

Back to the North Island

Hey there,

Once again we must apologise for our lack of updates recently. Since we last wrote we have abandoned the search for work in the South Island and headed back to the North.

The ferry ride back over was amidst a force 3 gale which, unfortunately, reduced Kay and Ash to quivering wrecks. All fun and games though.

Once we returned to the North we headed straight up to Palmerstone North to catch up with Gary, Leigh and Jo (from India). We spent 3 days up there staying with Gary and Leigh in their stunning house and had a crackin' night in with them and the gang and also a chance to explore Palmy. Ash went to see Gary's football team play and we both had a fast lesson in windfarms.

We had decided to start work on the east coast (Hawkes Bay region) but before we set off we had the pleasure of seeing Maura and Basil once again on their 50th Wedding anniversary. Thanks again to them for inviting us to their little gathering.

So onto Hawkes Bay, Napier and Hastings where after a few days of searching we were able to find work at a local Orchard. We spent the following week working at the Orchard from 7 til half four for silly money. We spent the nights staying on the beach at a rest stop (for free) thus managing to save up enough to pay for the next few weeks petrol. The work itself was ok, working outside (weather dependant) picking apples for 9 hours a day. Ash got very sunburnt through his refusal to wear suncream and enjoyed moaning about his hayfever. Even so we picked approx. 55,000 apples (it gets that boring that you start to count) and made a few friends along the way.

From Hawkes Bay we travelled north to Taupo where Kay threw herself from a plane much to the envy of Ash. However the excitement and hurtling movement caused Kay to feel less adrenelin and more motion sickness.... you shall all see the DVD when we get back.

Then we headed over to Tongariro National park for a stroll around some waterfalls and a trip up 'Mount Doom' to indulge in a bit of L.o.t.R set spotting. Recently we have been getting back into little walks here and there and we have explored a few tracks to keep us busy.

Since then we have also been through Rotorua, a site of much thermal activity. We have had the pleasure of visiting many mud pools, hot springs, steam emitting things, strange coloured lakes and other thermal wonders. We even managed to find a little secluded thermal pool to take a dip in, although Maori tradition suggests that this is very good for you it neglects to mention that you spend the rest of the day smelling like rotten eggs.... Still, all fun and games.

We are now up in the Bay of Plenty again on the hunt for another weeks work here or there. The weather has turned rainy and miserable of late but Bongo is still keeping us warm and dry.

We hope you are all well and send our love,

We will write again when we do something exciting.

Lots of love,

Ash'n'Kay

xxx

Go Bongo Go Go….. (It’s rescue pack… coming to the rescue)

Hey there everyone,

Sorry for the lack of blog, this has been due to our whistle stop tour of the south island, so here’s where we’ve been…

Having arrived in Nelson and met old friend Ben, Kayleigh and Ashley continued in their adventure west towards some of the most exciting scenery so far.

The first stop made was at an impressive ‘falls’ (Maruia falls) where a pair of dare-devil kayak’ers attempted to survive the drop (there is some quite worrying video footage of this which we will force you all to watch… no panic though it turned out OK!). From the falls we entered the quiet little fishing village of Westport (famous for its sunsets). It is important to note that this is day two of our country tour in the Bongo and we’ve yet to encounter free showers…. It was, therefore, only fitting that we should proceed on down the coast to Cape Foulwind to gaze at some lazy seals… we also caught sight of the pancake rock formations and ate some pancakes. At this point (day 2) we realised we hadn’t taken advantage of the petrol stations at Westport and coasted into HokiTika on fumes (schoolboy/girl error). At HokiTika we popped into a Jade factory to see some lathes…. And Ashley tried his new fishing rod out (with the usual consequences….). We spent the night in Hari Hari with the van (and us) tucked out of sight in the middle of the town park (busy day).

Day 3! We race away from any glimpses of sunshine down the West coast into Glacier country. We took a stroll up to the foot of Franz Joseph glacier and were suitable awed by its size. From there we stopped off at Lake Mapouriaka (the lake of reflections) which Ashley was keen to show Kay, however we were unable to see the stunning mirror like reflections as it was a windy day and the lake was mere ripples…. (Fortunately we did, however, get to make friends with an eel in the lake and spent a good half and hour poking it with sticks). By the late afternoon we both began to get a bit grouchy so we decided to stop at a campsite and pay for the luxuries of long hot showers and the chance to watch Harry Potter on TV….

Day 4! (Fresh from the campsite) We continue south and stop in Wanaka to visit puzzle world for a dose of mazes and illusions (recommended age 22). We continue further down to Queenstown stopping at a few little scenic stops here and there. Queenstown provides us with no showers but a great chance to have a drink and watch some live music (and then have a second drink and realize we’re not big drinkers and that two drinks would be enough to warrant a kebab).

Day 5! Saw us kick starting the day at an 18 hole crazy golf course, the result was far too close to call (?!) and I seem to recall Kay cheating in some way or other, surely…. After lunch we headed to Te Anau for a boat ride to some glow worm caves on a little island in the sounds. After we head to a little hidden rest stop which provided Blair Witch style camping with sinister toilets (yes, toilets can be sinister).

Day 6! Friday. We head down to Invercargill stopping at Cliffdon suspension bridge and Orepuki which is renownd for having a gem stone beach… (we are now dragging a good half ton of pebbles around in the van, might be next Christmas sorted out?...) Ash went for a second fish in Riverton (again, no) and we got Bongo stuck on a grass verge caking Ash in mud as we struggled to set Bongo free. Invercargill arrived as a welcome stop at Kay’s distant relatives’ (Beverly and Lawri) house, we were treated to a Kiwi sized meal, with Grandson Joseph, at the local and long hot showers (that’s worked out at a shower every 3 days… that’s better than at home).

Day 7! We head to the very south (Bluff) and sit in the car (don’t bother), then we set off back into town and potter about for the day.

Day 8! We set off, pack lunches at the ready, thanks Beverly and head up the east coast stopping at the Petrified Forest, the cathedral caves and a few other spots before coming to rest in Dunedin. We spend a good deal of time searching for a rest stop and finally find a picturesque spot in some sand dunes near the beach.

Day 9! A bit of a write off, saw Dunedin and crashed Bongo… you win some, you lose some.

Day 10! Visited Lake Tekapo (further inland) and stared at Mt Cook and the Southern Alps, lakes and lord of the rings countryside (the plains of Rohan). A good day for photographs. That night we stayed in Rakaia, wedged between the main highway (busy with trucks ferrying milk and supplies) and the cargo train line (also surprisingly busy! Probably with milk).

Day 11! Christchurch brought us art galleries, live music and the full English breakfast. It also marked day 4 without a shower and so again found us getting grouchy. After getting a little lost we stopped at a little truck driver rest stop where a little angel in the shape of a barman told us about a lawn bowling club that it was possible to stop at and use their toilets and showers for a small donation, we found it (after a while!) and spent a pleasant night there in isolation from the world.

Day 12! This was the day before Waitangi day and we headed to Kaikoura to go Whale watching and see some dolphins and splash around. Unfortunately it was far more costly than anticipated so we had to make do with strolling by the seaside and taking in some of the Waitangi anniversary celebrations that were already kicking off. Then we met Andrea (Beverly and Lawri’s daughter) who kindly invited us to stay in their house in Blenheim, which two nights later is where we now find ourselves.

We are currently job hunting and taking in the beautiful beaches… Tomorrow might offer work but we’re not too optimistic, the vineyard picking season is yet to start and the orchards are full…. even so that’s the plan. Wish us luck!

Hope you are all well, missing you all and sending our love (in place of postcards)

Ash and Kay

xxx

On the road again Part 1

Olla,

Firstly, an apology for not being in touch, we are currently in Nelson (north of the south island) and are off down the west coast in our little home. Our phone signal and access to the internet are both very limited but we are both fine and dandy.

We spent a week in Wellington since our last blog, where we painted the town red, went to see the Wellington Phoenix play football, went to various beaches and spent time with David, Tina and the kids. It has been lovely weather (aside from the wellington winds) and we've both enjoyed an excuse to feed ducks, play in playgrounds and generally play the fool with Noah and Bos.

After a smooth (and vomit free) ferry journey to the South Island, we caught up with Ash's friend Ben from P'mouth and had a swim'n'aBBQ.

Bongo is doing well, he has kept us warm and is fairly comfy to sleep and live in.

Now we are sitting in the library and in a minute Ashley is hoping to go fishing with his new expensive rod and reel from the refuse centre. I'm not sure if we mentioned it last time but Wellington's Trash Palace (rubbish tip shop bit) is good fun, we've bought lots of bits from it. Check it out when you come here... it's got to be one of NZ's best tourist attractions... surely.

Love to all,

Kay'n'Ash

xxx

West Bound then down... [rolling up and trucking?]

Kia Ora!

Firstly we must tell you all that Kay has put up our photos to date on her facebook page, please feel free to add Kay as a friend (search Kayleigh Brand) and have a look through the thousands of snaps. We have resorted to using facebook as it is fairly easy to access, if you're not on facebook then follow this link to start using it, all you need do is start an account and search for either Kay or Ash in the top right search bar (by full name).

http://www.facebook.com/

We last left you (those of you still reading this blog, that is) in Hawera at Denver's house which turned out to be a very strange place indeed. Denver, a lovely man, made us feel very much at home and introduced us to his all very friendly friends. We spent 2 days there and decided to head further south by bus during a visit to Wanganui... The bus route took us along the rest of the west coast down to bulls where we hopped onto a second bus which took us to Paremata. This is the home of Maura and Basil and is where we have been based for the last few days.

Over the last few days we have been on the hunt for a campervan/van/car/box with wheels/big skateboard.... we have ventured to numerous car lots, web-sites and even to a thoroughly enjoyable car auction (for those of you who are aware of Ashley's eBay tendencies you will be glad to know he managed to refrain from buying anything this time!).

After a few days of searching and quickly lowering our expectations we have found our new home. He is currently parked outside Maura and Basil's home and is called Bongo. Kay shall be putting photos of Bongo up on Facebook over the next day or two as the transformation from boring people-mover to 'extraordinary new living headquarters' takes place.

Aside from the car hunt we have also visited Wellington and taken a jaunt to the Te Papa national museum (where we saw the Collosus Squid.... it's pretty big, but collosus??... I've seen bigger...) and also caught the new Baz Lurhman(?) film, Australia, at a quirky village cinema with sofa's and ice cream.

Anyways we hear that it has been a bit chilly in the UK and hasten to add that we're feeling it over here too, in fact we've both been wearing jumpers today, well it is only:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/5day.shtml?world=0095

Take care and keep warm.

Lots of love

Kay'n'Ash
xxx

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Hello!

I think this might be a long update as we've been away from the web for some time now. The last thing we mentioned in the blog was leaving Thailand....

So, Singapore... It's clean, safe, hot, expensive, pretty small and easy to get around.

We spent 3 days there (after some passport issues at immigration... it's no fun sitting in a little room being stared at and having your finger prints taken.... Singapore didn't like me). We charged about on the metro seeing the sights. We visited Sentosa Island and stayed in Little India. We saw the Christmas lights on orchard road and listened to some a capella christmas carols.... Nice.

On to New Zealand, and after some panicing about not being allowed in (passport issues again) we arrived on Christmas Day at about 1 in the morning. We checked into a flash hotel in the CBD and went to a tapas restraunt for a semi-christmas dinner. On boxing day we headed over to Waiheke Island for 10 days or so. Andrew and Mariana's wedding was fantastic and it was super to spend a few days with them, Gary and Leigh, David and Tina, the kids and of course, Adam (and the purple dragons)... Good times.

Highlight of the trip so far was swimming in the sea at 2 in the morning after the wedding in a cloud of algae bloom which phosphoresced, fosforessed, phosforessed, phossfofofo - glowed, glowwed... oh well it was amazing, trully stunning. Go and find some.

We've got to dash again as we have invaded Denver's house near New Plymouth and are taking up his internet.... Will finish this post off later on.

Happy New Year everyone!!! Big Love x x x