Bored now...

What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you develop an addiction to meths?

Last night I consumed a horrendous amount
Of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge sundae
Whilst I watched the repeat of Shooting Stars
And smeared chocolate all over my duvet

The night before I did partake
in a weighty evening of drink
and now after 21 days in a row
it happens I’m starting to think

That

I’m killing myself with lovely things
I’m putting on weight everyday
I’m killing myself with lovely things
But at least it’s more pleasant this way

This eve to a burlesque night
I received a delightful suggestion
And I think it only polite to arrive
For failure is out of the question

Thus it’s not the pretty ladies
Or their distinct lack of thread
But merely as a warning to others
That it is pertinent I attend

To warn these underlings of the future
If they continue to mimic my life
Of gin, of brandy and simple cider
So, alas, they will hear of my strife

For

I’m killing myself with lovely things
I’m putting on weight everyday
I’m killing myself with lovely things
But at least it’s more pleasant this way

I’m killing myself with lovely things
And no one but I can be blamed
I’m killing myself with lovely things
But at least it’s more surreal this way

So I’ll drink mulled wine
And smoke Gauloise
And continue to shorten my breathes

For what would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you encourage my addiction to meths?