Well....

If you insist on standing in the middle of a busy corridor,
holding a loud conversation with your rebellious brother-in-law,
whilst a queue forms behind you that you’re too involved to see,
I might set fire to your legs.

And then I stomach your presence whilst waiting for my dinner,

listening to ‘who kissed who’ and your plans to get much thinner,

then you invite your friends to go before you so you can sit together,

so I decide I might cut your brake line.

But I’m more inclined to mutter...

...and I bet you'll be on my train.